A Memoir of Sorts (tabularasa101) wrote in avengers,
A Memoir of Sorts

Revenge Story I Found

I had a boyfriend -- whom I can only remember his name as now being "dick for brains" -- who was living with me temporarily and after about 3 months. when hes started acting suspicious, i confronted him but he assured me he wanted to continue the relationship. One night he was out supposedly with his friends and had just dupped his school stuff in the middle of my floor as usual. it was a few days before valentines day and i saw a red envelope in his school bag. i decided to look at it to make sure i didn’t overdo it for Valentines Day since things weren’t like they used to me. The card read something like: "to phyliss and was one of those funny one's that made a comment on what a great ass she had. he then wrote in something like "but i love you for more than that. it also had a 10 dollar gift certificate. Unfortunately, my name isn’t phyllis. Now the snooping was on!! AND MY REVENGE -- the day before i had given him and out and he didn’t take it!!
I found a leather bag full of vibrators still in their package -- evidently for phyllis -- and some k-y jelly. i stole the vibrators and dumped all the k-y jelly in the bag. I took the gift certificate in the valentines day card for phyllis and replaced it with a novelty fake 3 dollar bill that one of my coworkers had given to me a couple of days before. bill clinton's picture was on it and it made references to him and monica and being a cheat. who would have thought it would come in so handy!! I then used his toothbrush to clean my toilet bowls and burned a small hole in the bag of his favorite shirt -- this ugly hawaiian thing. i also burned a whole in the crotch of a new pair of pant he bought. He didn’t show up that night -- always said that if he got too drunk, he would just stop or stay at a friends and not drive. i believed him because one time we had done that. Silly me. Anyway, i got up early the next day and called a locksmith to change the lock. when he came back it took him a while to figure out why the door wouldn’t open open. i opened the door, told him i had the locks changed and asked if there was anything he needed to tell me. he said no. and i said he needed to get his stuff out that day. he had just had back surgery and i enjoyed watching him gently moving most of his stuff out until he whined that he would have to have someone help him with the rest because of his back. it was friday and he stalled all weekend about getting the rest of the stuff out of my house. on monday (Valentines day) i threw all of his stuff out on the front lawn. it was raining. I was nice though -- i put a tarp on it. i didn’t want him calling judge judy and saying something like i ruined is stuff and just dragging this out. All of it was still not gone by the next weekend and i was sick of looking at it and getting upset that hadn’t taken it all yet. a girlfriend of mine took me out gambling about 100 miles away. i won five hundred dollars gambling on nickel poker and could only laugh because he was always complaining about being poor. Later, he finally picked up the stuff -- and took my tarp by the way. he went thru it and called me wanting to know if there was "anything i had that was his but not something he would use." i figured he was talking about the vibrators but acted dumb and said that yes, he left his coffee cup here -- that he got as a free gift from a company -- and it was something he wouldn’t use since he doesn’t drink coffee. i played so stupid saying that i had no idea what he was talking about -- and he wouldn’t say what he was missing -- that i even let him come over and search for whatever he was looking for. i hid them in the attic and knew he was too stupid to look there. He looked and couldn’t find what he was looking for and then admitted what it was he thought i had. i played even more stupid and indignant that he would think i would want something like that especially if it was for phyllis!! i then reported that the only other mean thing i did besides the card (which unfortunately he caught on to early) was use his tooth brush to clean my toilets!!! after that, he forgot about the "things that i would have that were his but he wouldn’t use them." all he could say was which toothbrush -- like he had more than one laying out in the bathroom!!! Using his toothbrush to clean the toilet bowl was nice revenge but having the opportunity to tell him after he used it was even better!!! I also told him to keep the tarp he took because i won 500$ and would just buy a new one. This was a small community we were in and you tended to run into the same people over and over. i told a few people the story -- they thought it was funny and passed it on -- and over time, i dont think too many people could look at him without thinking of his toothbrush being used to clean the toilets!! Astrid
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